The holidays are definitely here! Even if you love the frantic craziness of the season, you can expect the level of stress in your life to rise. The need to entertain, buy presents, prepare festive meals — in short, to make everyone happy — can add a heavy layer of tension to an already heavy schedule. My mother used to say, “Christmas is a conspiracy against mothers.” We all know that the main burden of Christmas falls upon the women who seem to be the keepers of traditions who shoulder the responsibilities for “making the season bright and merry.” When holiday stress is added to the other pressures, it can become overwhelming. Something going wrong with Christmas dinner or putting up the tree can be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Here are some simple strageties to help you cope with holiday stress:

1. Don’t compare. Many people make their lives miserable by falling into the trap of measuring their holiday preparations and gift choices against those of others. No matter how rich or creative you are, there will always be someone who gives better gifts or does more elaborate decorations. To compare is to play a losing game.

2. Forget about good intentions. Let other things slide during the holidays. Your family will survive if you dust less or do the washing less frequently. Don’t go on a diet as you will only get frustrated and fail.

3. Stay within your budget. Economic stresses are the ones most likely to affect everyone. When you raise the cost of gving to unrealistic levels, you also raise the stress stakes.

4. Give yourself credit. Most of us are capable enough, yet under stress we tend to focus on our failures, lack of creativity and disorganization. We end up turning 90% of our energy inside instead of turning it toward completing the task at hand.

5. Laugh, don’t cry. People who laugh in the face of stress tend to cope with it much better. Go to your sense of humor and seek the fun of the holidays without taking the entire folderol too seriously.

6. Share your load. Remember that Christmas is a family holiday, but too often everyone but mom has the fun because she is stuck doing the grunt work. Get everyone involved in wrapping, shopping and cooking. Don’t bail out anyone once you have assigned the tasks.

7. Share your feelings. Talk about your frustrations with a spouse or friends. Ask them for ideas and solutions to different situations. Follow their good advice and take their suggestions.

8. Rethink your values. Most of us rarely question basic assumptions. Yet, stress can grow from unconsciously accepting a status quo with which we don’t truly agree. Examine situations with a new eye and re-evaluate. When you pin down what’s really important to you about the holidays and plan your season accordingly, large amounts of stress will evaporate. Following your true beliefs can give you a renewed sense of purpose.

9. Just say no. Women take on Christmas because it is expected of them. We “should” ourselves to death. The only person on their list of “shoulds” and “ought tos” who gets short–shrifted is themselves. Be assertive and don’t take on more than you can handle. Assertiveness isn’t being selfish, it’s being protective.

10. Plan ahead for next year. It will give you a sense of control, which is a key bulwark against stress. Make some early decisions after the holidays about what you want to avoid in the future and what new tactics you can take to avoid holiday stress from getting you down. Shop early — buy your cards, wrapping paper and ribbon in post-holiday sales, create a folder for Christmas hints, decorating tips, and recipes to use next year. Put your Christmas card list on computer making additions and deletions as well as address changes so that you can print labels instead of hand writing envelopes. All the little organizational techniques you take now will pay off for Christmas 2007. Planning can be everything when stress reduction is concerned. The less stressed mom is, the more fun Christmas will be for everyone.