“Personality” is a greatly overworked word that has really no significant meaning. Understanding the word and where it came from reinforces the fact that all personality is basically false. In ancient drama the actors used to wear masks, which were called personae—personae because the sound was coming from behind the mask. Sona means sound. The masks were apparent to the audience, and the sounds came from behind the mask. From the word persona has come the word “personality.” Good personality, bad personality, the personality of a sinner and the personality of a saint — all are false. What really is personality? The dictionary defines it as “the manner and disposition of a person.” You can wear a beautiful mask or an ugly mask. It doesn’t make any difference because everyone’s personality is inconsistent and changing.

In high school, the word “personality” is overworked in the teenage vocabulary. “He has a great personality!” “ She will be voted ‘Miss personality’ in the yearbook.” These titles usually referred to the people who were well-liked, successful and social. They certainly didn’t refer to the shy, introverted classmates who were almost invisible. Since there is definitely “life after high school,” people’s “personalities” evolve and new masks are worn depending on the particular circumstance, however there is somewhat of the same connotation. It is not about who we are as much as how we play the game in most circumstance.

Most of us have different behaviors and methods of interaction in the workplace as opposed to home. We behave differently with our own gender groups than we do when dealing with the opposite sex or in mixed company. Society has dictated appropriate behavioral guidelines that govern how we present ourselves in diverse situations. These strategies dictate our language, choice of clothing, manners and beliefs, thereby influencing our “personalities.” Behaviors that are appropriate for a casual picnic are certainly not acceptable at a formal dinner function, so flexibility is required to gain acceptance at both venues. Most people can move easily between the different roles they are required to play every day, but sometimes these changes require extreme alteration of one’s “personality,” which can cause problems leading to deep-seated frustration, anger and even depression. Everyone has found themselves in situations where they had to “bite their tongue,” smile and walk away. These situations are a real test of patience and tolerance. Developing personal strategies for survival is a necessary part of human growth and development.

Even though we are constantly altering our “personalities” to fit the various situations we encounter, we must never compromise our values or our beliefs. We are each special and unique. It is important to remember that it is not really our “personalities” that create our identities, but the way we can adapt our dispositions and manners to assume the varied roles and masks we must wear on a daily basis for successful interaction with those around us, at home, socially and at work. Remember, a smile can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don’t particularly like you. It is also true that the only reason anyone would really ever hate you is because they want to be like you or accepted by you in some way.

“Think deeply, speak gently, love much, laugh aloud, work hard and give freely — be kind.” I don’t know who said this, but it is a great philosophy. Remember that our actions speak louder than our words and influence how other perceive us. They are the most important part of our “personality.”