Dear Parents,

The tension has been building in the lives of high school seniors for a number of months, and finally this week the deadline for choosing a college has arrived. This is the culmination of a long process, and now the big decision needs to be made. This is it!

The senior year is often an emotional roller coaster for the families of seniors as they have researched colleges, invested time and money in the application process, have visited colleges from coast to coast and everywhere inbetween, and then anxiously await the coveted fat envelopes of acceptance or the dreaded thin envelopes of rejection. Reactions in families across town have varied from ecstasy to bitter disappointment.

This year has been declared the most impacted of all times on college campuses, due to the children of Baby Boomers reaching college age. No doubt this fact has affected the outcome of many acceptances, and has raised the hype for parents of younger children who worry that their children will never get into a college. In fact, there is a college for everyone.

The college process has become big business for many, as well as an obsessive occupation for some families. A toddler whose parents have already declared that he’s going to Stanford, or a child reminded over and over that Grandpa and Dad and Uncle Ben and his brother Sam are all physicians, may find it difficult later on to choose their own academic paths. Wise parents are attentive mentors as their children make academic choices in preparation for college, focusing on what seems best for their unique child. These parents know that an ivy league diploma is not necessarily a guarantee for their child’s adult happiness or success. What counts most is knowing your child, listening carefully to him, helping him find the place that can enhance his unique gifts, and then supporting his choice.

There are numerous examples of local high school graduates who have chosen a path different from the norm. Many aren’t ready to head off to a four-year college, so they choose to start at a junior college. Some decide to take a year off and work. Others, after the extensive process of finding the “perfect fit” of a college, end up transferring after the first year, or taking a year off for re-evaluation. Different kids, different paths, all possible journeys to success.

Several years ago one local La Cañada High School graduate decided, at the urging of her art teacher, to go straight to art school rather than to a four-year college. She enjoyed exploring different art forms, she discovered new talents, and she began to come alive to herself, a feeling she didn’t experience during high school. She developed a personal art style which uniquely expressed who she was. She learned from those she met on her path, she worked hard, she lived on both coasts for a time, she traveled abroad, she took risks.

She has walked her own path to success. She’s the author and illustrator of four books, has produced more than enough art to have a onewoman art show, has designed clothing, has her art on skateboards, and gives “self discovery through art” workshops around the country. She has walked a unique path, a path to success.

During the next four years, success will emerge in many ways and on various campuses across the country as local students set off on their own journeys. Success starts with a student walking courageously in a direction that feels right for him, and to a place that best enhances who he is becoming. Different kids, different paths, all possible journeys to satisfying and productive lives.

Try this:

Be an encouragement not only to your own student, but to all seniors on whatever path they have chosen. They all have great potential to succeed. Cheer them on from the home front, whatever direction they’re heading!

Jan Roberts is an educator in La Cañada Flintridge, an accomplished speaker, author, and she provides individual parent consultation. She has been an instructor for the Parent Education program at La Cañada Presbyterian Church for 14 years, is a former Palm Crest Elementary School teacher and a mother of three grown children. Readers may send parent questions to TheParentCoach@sbcglobal.net.