Dear Parent Coach,

Between family vacations and summer activities, I’ve been trying to get my kids to dig into their rooms and clear them out before we start another school year. They don’t stick with it long enough to make a dent and I’m overwhelmed with the thought of cleaning three out-of-control kids’ rooms by myself. Help!

Signed,
Clean Freak

Dear Clean Freak,

Summer is indeed a good time to tackle big projects, such as your children’s rooms, and you shouldn’t have to do it alone! As well as lending you a hand, your children will learn about personal responsibility and some organizational skills at the same time, a win-win situation for all of you.

Children usually feel overwhelmed by the request to “go in and clean your room.” They have no idea what “clean” means, and they can’t imagine how to begin. So they throw a few toys into the closet and they’re done, which is very exasperating to a parent.

Also contributing to the childrens’ clean room struggle is having too much stuff and not enough space to put it all. Every item in the room needs a place to be, if a child is expected to keep their personal space tidy.

To be successful with your summer room purge, you will need to set aside time to not only direct the project, but to work right alongside your children. Usually when a family starts working together, a real team spirit emerges and it turns out to be more fun than anyone expected. At least that’s what we hope for.

A four-part strategy that will ensure a more positive outcome should include:

* pre-planning and participation by a parent

* a definite day and time set aside with limited distractions and built-in breaks

* specific tasks broken into smaller steps

* clear directions and expectations from a parent.

TRY THIS:

1) Choose one or two days free of other involvements for the cleaning project. Inform your children of the plan. They may complain, but move forward with your plan anyway!

2) In advance of cleaning day, gather bins, boxes and other organizational items that will help your children sort and store belongings. Anticipate needs such as hangers, storage bins or a bigger dresser.

3) Before the big day, go alone to Ikea, The Container Store or Target for supplies and inspiration.

4) Have a schedule posted that children can refer to for work times, break times and a stopping time. This will give structure to the day. Allow enough time for satisfactory completion, including a final trip to the Goodwill.

5) Break the project into small tasks and state your expectations clearly. “Let’s start with toys. Put all unused toys in this box, and ones you want to keep on your bed. Then I’ll help you find a place for them.”

6) Rotate between your children’s rooms, answering questions, helping with decisions, giving encouragement and keeping children on task.

7) After finishing with toys, move to another small area. Children usually need extra help sorting and eliminating clothing.

8) Plan a family night at a fun restaurant, a movie or miniature golf to celebrate the team effort and a job well done!

Jan Roberts is an educator in La Cañada Flintridge, an accomplished speaker, author, and she provides individual parent consultation. She has been an instructor for the Parent Education program at La Cañada Presbyterian Church for 14 years, is a former Palm Crest Elementary School teacher and a mother of three grown children. Readers may send parent questions to TheParentCoach@sbcglobal.net.