Dear Parent Coach,

I was awakened at 2 a.m. recently, and discovered my 14- year-old son on the computer playing games. We were both surprised to see each other at that hour. I was very upset. He said he lost track of time. I need help with a consequence.

Thanks, Mom

Dear Mom,

Many parents, like yourself, are feeling overwhelmed by the amount of time and energy it takes to manage the fast growing use of technology by their children. Gone are the days when excessive TV viewing was the biggest concern on a parent’s mind.

Today’s tweens and teens are technology whizzes. Not only are they quick to adapt to ever-changing uses of each new gadget that comes on the market, but they are equally good at getting around the various parental blocks that are available.

A recent study by the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation showed that children ages 8-18 are spending an average of 7 hours and 38 minutes a day using some form of media for fun. This includes listening to music, playing games and watching TV, as well as texting, all on cell phones.

Excessive use of ubiquitous technology can have negative impact on the grades and health of students. Many young people find social networking on Facebook and by texting almost addictive, and they have difficulty knowing when to call it quits for the day. They’re obsessed with keeping in touch with friends constantly.

Family life can also suffer in the wake of over-the-top technology use by everyone in a family. There is less time for face-to-face interactions between family members, as well as decreased time available for sharing household responsibilities.

Parents report that their teens are texting friends under the dinner table during a family meal. Others are caught off guard when their tween calls them from an upstairs bedroom to see if dinner is on the table yet.

Obviously, there are many positive and convenient uses for various forms of modern technology, as well as the possibility of misuse and obsessive use by inexperienced and naive kids. It is a parent’s responsibility to establish guidelines and controls that keep their children safe, healthy and balanced.

Children do not obtain computers and cell phones on their own, without their parents’ help purchasing them. As parents provide these for their children, a good deal of thought should be given by parents as to how, when, and where they should be used appropriately. Guidelines need to be clearly stated and enforced.

Your son’s use of the computer at 2 a.m. was most likely against your parental guidelines, and you want there to be a consequence. The most logical one is to restrict the use of the computer for a week or two. The computer should be off limits to him except for completion of homework, done in your presence.

Before resuming use of the computer, your son needs to restate your guidelines regarding appropriate use, and the even greater consequences, should he decide to play games in the middle of the night again.

Try these parental controls:

1) Verizon’s Chaperone Plan (for cell phones)

2) NetNanny.com

3) OnlineFamily.Norton.com